Admit it: you’re nervous. In the back of your mind, you fear that someone is going to say something mean to your child online. Every time you read a story or statistic about another cyber bullying victim committing suicide, you can’t help but ask yourself, “What if that were to happen to my kid?” “How can I discuss cyber bullying to protect them from seeing such hurtful things online?”
Your kid hasn’t talked to you about being cyber bullying yet, but being the responsible and protective parent you are, you certainly want to have a conversation with them and do what you can to protect them.
In this article, we’ll show you exactly how to do that.
Why Your Child Won’t Discuss Cyber Bullying with You (Yet)
So, why is it that middle school and high school don’t talk to their parents about cyber bullying?
Think back to the time when you were in middle school, or high school. Did you ever avoid telling your parents something that would’ve affected your social life, such as being bullied? Probably not. Maybe you perceived that getting an adult involved would make things worse! It might have been embarrassing, and you didn’t want to look like a tattletale in front of your friends. Most importantly, your parents might OVERREACT.
Now, you’re the parent. If they were to talk to you about a cyber bullying issue they faced, they may think it could lead you taking their computer or mobile phone away. They may think you’d get involved, just like your parents might have gotten involved if you told them.
How Parents Should Discuss Cyber Bullying with Their Kids
Of course, you understand now that parents do what they can to protect their children. You’d be surprised at how many parents don’t care or find it surprising that their kid is a victim of cyber bullying, and get even more shocked if their child is accused of being a cyber bully. The truth of the matter is that no one is safe from being exposed to cyber bullying. Kids go online every day and connect with their peers all the time… including people they aren’t friends with.
However, you can prevent the effects of cyber bullying by having ongoing discussions with your kids about the subject… before they are affected by it. If you want your child to turn to you when they encounter meanness online, you need to set yourself up as the go-to person before the online bullying begins.
Keep lines of communication open so that kids can feel comfortable telling you when they see or have been affected by a cyber bullying incident.
How to Start a Conversation about Cyber Bullying
It can be challenging to know how to foster trust between you and your child. When talking to your kids about social media, apps or online games, you can initiate a discussion by asking one of the following conversation starters:
- Do you feel like you can tell me if you ever have a problem at school or online? (If not, why?)
- Help me understand why *insert social media platform/online game* is important to you.
- Can you help me set up a *insert social media platform* account?
- I want to connect with you on *insert social media platform*. Would that be okay with you? (If not, what would make it okay?)
Conclusion
As parents, we can’t avoid some of the hurts our children face as they grow up, whether it be in the real world or online. However, being proactive in both understanding our kids’ perspectives, listening to their opinions and learning about new technology are the first steps to take in order to support our children step in when it goes beyond what’s reasonable for any kid to handle.